Confessions of a Hopeful Heart

I am a servant to the most beautiful King, the lover of a man named Jesus Christ, a daughter of my Abba Father. He is faithful to my heart, always has been, always will be. I'm learning daily what it means to embrace the ache of a lovesick heart. Ruined for any other, I have given my life to Yeshua, trying my hardest to always be obedient to say what He wants to say and go where He is leading me. I am embarking on an adventure as a laid down lover, being His hands and feet to a dying world. This is my story.

~ Monday, May 28 ~

“ …Ezekiel and his fellow prophets have become my heroes. They were fearless. They literalized metaphors. They turned their lives into protest pieces. They proved that, in the name of truth, sometimes you can’t be afraid to take a left turn from polite society and look absurd.

— A. J. Jacobs

~ Sunday, May 20 ~

But for you who fear my name,

the sun of righteousness will rise

with healing in his wings.

And you shall go forth again,

skip about like calves

coming from their stalls at last.

You shall be my very own

on the day that I

cause you to be my special home.

I shall spare you as a man,

as compassion on his son

who does the best he can.

(Source: Spotify)

~ Monday, May 14 ~

“He said if I would wait, I would fly like an eagle in the sky.”

You would think I would learn it the first time, but Jesus is graciously teaching me again that the moment I think I have it figured it out is one of the most dangerous places to be. So here is to a season of waiting, trusting in His character, and holding onto the promises of everything He has spoken to me. He is a far better leader than I am, wiser and just in every way. Even when I may not know what the next couple of months may hold, I do know that He is orchestrating everything perfectly and I am content in trusting Him with my entire life.

~ Monday, April 30 ~

You chased my heart so I could see
but I stood unacceptable
You called my name with infinite time
and I lost sight so easily

then oh, I stood in the silence, I lay in the night, a voice in the stillness
“oh my love, you’re my child, take all these good things, soften your heart”.

Lord help me, Help me remember
flesh is weak, my spirit’s strong,
dressed the trees you saw their splendor
more to You, love I am more.

You found me as an empty room,
walls with holes
so eagerly to say “oh love you own It all”
Inside of me, flows out of me.

then oh, I stood in the silence, I lay in the night, a voice in the stillness
“oh my love you’re my child, take all these good things, soften your heart”.

Walk with me, tell me the width and depth of the raging sea,
the deepest blue could never define You

(Source: Spotify)

the-gee-dee:

It’s those people I love again.

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~ Sunday, April 8 ~

I think that I truly experienced culture shock for the first time this morning since being home as I attended my grandparents little baptist church with them for Easter Sunday.

Today was a beautiful day, spending the first holiday with my family in over six months. It meant so much to my grandparents for my entire family to surprise them and show up at their church for service. However, as we stood up and sat down in an almost completely silent church, singing songs to a risen Savior with no emotion behind the words, my heart was struck with the overwhelming reality of how many people there are that speak words with their lips, yet truly have no understanding of the character of Jesus and the real power of what He did. I’m so thankful that my Jesus is really alive, that I really am able to converse with Him and hear His voice, and that I really can be holy and blameless by the blood of the Lamb.

Tonight, I am missing the hours my team spent with our Burmese friends, praying passionately in a sweaty room and allowing the Holy Spirit to have complete control. I miss the sweet people I met at the underground church in Laos, who risk imprisonment every day to seek after a living God and make His name known to everyone around them. I miss being in a culture where people choose to follow Christ because they are introduced to the reality of who He is and not because it’s a nice thing to label yourself as.

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~ Wednesday, April 4 ~

“ But I began to discover the “greater things.” It was not just miracles. I started to see that miracles were an expression not so much of Jesus’ mighty power as of his love. In fact, the power of miraculous spectacle was the temptation he faced in the desert- to turn stones to bread or to fling himself from the temple. But what had lasting significance were not the miracles themselves but Jesus’ love. Jesus raised his friend Lazarus from the dead, and a few years later, Lazarus died again. Jesus healed the sick, but they eventually caught some other disease. He fed the thousands, and the next day they were hungry again. But we remember his love. It wasn’t that Jesus healed a leper but that he touched a leper, because no one touched lepers. And the incredible thing about that love is that it now lives inside of us. In the verses just after the one about the greater things, Jesus assures us that the Spirit now lives in us. Jesus says that he is going to the Father but will also remain inside of us, and we in him. We are the body of Christ, the hands and feet of Jesus to the world. Christ is living inside of you and me, walking the earth. We shall do even greater things because the love that lived in the radical Christ now lives within millions of ordinary radicals all over the planet.

— The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne

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~ Monday, April 2 ~

I really love my city.

~ Saturday, March 31 ~

Tonight I went with some friends to a much needed worship night with United Pursuit.
Adjusting to back home has been a little hard and instead of leaning into God, I feel like I have been pulling away some.

But tonight my beautiful Jesus took the time to calm me with His love and remind me just how much He delights in me. I’m so thankful that I can trust Him and that when I give it all to Him, He leads me perfectly.

“Oh Lord, I need You capture me…take me deeper into Your heart. Surround me with Your love and hold me close and never, never let me go. So close that I can feel Your every breath until my heart begins to dance with Yours, never let me go.”

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~ Sunday, March 25 ~

Tonight I wish I was thousands of miles away crammed into a tuk tuk with my beautiful second family, eating sticky rice from the night market, laughing, and talking to one another about our newest and deepest revelations and understandings.

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